Conversations with Island Boy — A New Drama in Three Acts

Kay Nou Repertory Theater is proud to present its latest production of “Conversations with Island Boy.”  Although the concept is hardly new, we hope you will enjoy this fresh material.

All video, photographic and sound recordings are prohibited during the performance.  For the enjoyment of those around you, we ask that you unwrap all hard candies before the curtain rises.

Please enjoy the show.

Scene: Kay Nou.

Time:  The 21st century.  Early in the morning after an extreeeeemely long and rocky night.

The Kay Nou Players (in order of appearance)

Mama

Island Boy

Papa

ACT ONE

[Mama and Island Boy are in the midst of a protracted negotiation.  Enter Papa.]

IB: I want to go to school now.

Mama:  No.  Papa will make you breakfast and then take you to school.

IB (screaming):  No, Mama.  I don’t want Papa.  I want you.  Don’t leave for work.

[Much screaming occurs as Mama departs]

Papa:  Island Boy, what do you want for breakfast?

IB:  I want to go to school now.

Papa:  We’re not ready to leave yet, and you need to eat breakfast.

IB:  No!  I don’t want breakfast!

Papa:  Okay, I can accommodate that.  No breakfast for you.  I’m eating though.

IB (weighing his options):  I want breakfast!

Papa:  Alright.  What do you want?  How about something easy like cereal?

IB:  Hmm…I want eggs on a toasted bagel with salsa.

ACT TWO

[Papa has prepared the requested meal.  He starts to go upstairs to get ready for work.]

IB:  Where you going?  Someone has to feed me.

Papa:  Is that how we ask?

IB:  Papa, please can you feed me (with a huge smile).

[Papa feeds the Caribbean Prince.  Much shucking & jiving is necessarily in order to complete the exercise.]

IB: (upon completion) I’m ready to go to school now.  Please take me.

Papa:  I’m not ready.  You watch a little TV, and I’ll get ready to go.

ACT THREE

Time:  10 minutes later.

Scene:  The upstairs bathroom.  A radio is playing.  Papa stands before a mirror shaving his head with a razor.  Suddenly and without warning, the bathroom door busts open.  Island Boy enters and turns off the radio.

Papa: Hey!

IB: Papa, I’m done with TV.  You need to take me to school now.

Papa (wearing nothing but pajama bottoms and shaving cream): ISLAND BOY, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE BEEN THROUGH THIS NOW?  I TOLD YOU THREE TIMES ALREADY: WE’LL GO AS SOON AS I AM READY.

LOOK AT ME, YOUNG MAN.  DO I LOOK READY TO PRACTICE LAW TO YOU?  CAN I GO TO COURT LOOKING LIKE THIS?

MAYBE IF I HADN’T BEEN UP ALL NIGHT WITH YOUR SHENANIGANS I MIGHT BE A LITTLE QUICKER GETTING READY THIS MORNING.

BUT, THAT ASIDE, LET’S SEE WHAT PAPA’S BEEN UP TO ALL MORNING:  GETTING YOU DRESSED;  MAKING YOU BREAKFAST;  FEEDING YOU BREAKFAST.;  AND WAITING WHILE YOU TOOK YOUR TIME SELECTING A DVD OF WHICH YOU WATCHED 10 MINUTES.

YA REALLY THINK WE’RE READY TO GO TO SCHOOL??????

IB (running down the hall like a frightened animal): Noooooo Papaaaaaaaa……

[Papa retreats to the bathroom and closes the door.  He resumes shaving.]

Papa (interior monologue is heard from offstage): Well, you handled that one well…NOT!  I wonder how many years of therapy he’s going to require to get over this morning?  Why do I let him push my but…

Knock. Knock.

Papa: Who is it?

IB (Sticking his head in the door): Papa, I want to stay with you up here.  Can I watch you shave?

Papa: Sure, come on in.  Let me show you how it’s done.  You may not always want to keep those ridiculous dreadlocks.

[Papa places Island Boy on the counter and continues shaving.  Island Boy watches his father and smiles.]

THE END

The Reviews

“Visually stunning.”  Vincent Canby, The New York Times.

“Guaranteed to deliver both tears and smiles.”  Judith de la Pierre San Romeo, The Onion.

“A shoot ’em up thrill ride that will leave you on the edge of your seats from beginning to end.”  Art Vandelay, Moviephone.com.

— The Major

Haiti, February 2009

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Gail on February 14, 2011 at 8:30 pm

    I laughed… I cried… Excellent depiction of a real life tale that every viewer will find something to identify with.

    Reply

  2. Ridiculous dreadlocks? Who’s your editor?

    –RG

    Reply

  3. Posted by Melania on February 16, 2011 at 8:00 pm

    When my twin sister and I were young, we would fight over who would spray the shaving cream into dad’s hand. the other person would hypothesize about the shaving cream. did it look like a seagull, a giant a peach with whipped cream, a pirate ship? try this little game with IB and see if that works to keep him occupied! One of my favorite memories as a child! I’m sure IB will remember his shaving time with papa as well! XOXO

    Reply

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