Our Impressions of Each Other’s Facebook Statuses

The other day The Fashionista mentioned to me that The Major talks a lot about shaking martinis on his Facebook statuses.  Tonight she began mocking him.

BAM!  A blog post is born.

Here is our take on each other’s statuses.  Each one was written by the other spouse.

The Major (TM):  Home from skiing.  Amazing conditions.  Swoosh, swoosh.  Now home and shaking the martini.

Running Girl (RG):  Back from Running.  63 miles today.  Saw a squirrel!

TM:  Today’s quiz: Who was the heaviest President?  Hint: He got stuck in the White House bathtub.  Only cheaters Google.

RG:  Ran to West Virginia today.  And back.  My feet are bloody stumps.  But hey, the schedule called for it.

TM:  Cross Country conditions are ripe for the taking. Stay off of my path you sloppy Snow Shoe-ers.  It’s martini time.

RG:  I love my students!  Today I taught the entire 5th Grade how to clap.  One boy set my classroom on fire.  I told him not to do that anymore.  Then I gave him an instrument to play.

TM:  Lemon or Olives?  Nothin’ like a martini after a long week.

RG:  The weatherman said not to go outside because of meteors falling to Earth and chasms of fire and brimstone opening up at your feet.  But hey, I’m in training.  Did 19.  You know, those Yak-Traks work on molten lava too!

TM:  IB vs. Papa and the winter coat.  Papa is once again victorious.

RG:  I love my iPod.  When I was running to Europe today, I realized that I hadn’t loaded anything on it.  I listened to white noise for the entire run.

TM:  Ah, yes… I knew your people, Sean. Your grandfather; he died in Australia, in a penal colony. And your father, he was a good man too.

RG:  Coming out of school today, I put on my pajamas in the car for the ride home.  This way I was all set when I hit the couch with my true love — my Mac laptop.  Tomorrow, I’ll wear my jammers on the ride in to work.

TM: A Singha and homemade Thai food made by yours truly.  Life is good!

RG:  Ate an olive for dinner and fell asleep on the couch at 4:26 p.m.  I love sleep!

TM:  “Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!”  Who says that anyway?

RG:  Had my feet surgically amputated today.  Doctor says give up on running.  Look at this: I just got into the NYC Marathon again.  So, who’s with me?

TM:  Icy, icy glass and a martini made with Skyy vodka.  It’s all in the wrist, baby.

RG:  Yet another fascinating report on NPR about the sex life of the Peruvian Sea Slug.  NPR — Keep ’em coming!

TM:  Snows melted?  Time to get my bike out!

RG:  Here’s a photograph of what I call the “Ganja Dreads”:

TM:  My wife is hot! [This is The Major — That one is true!]

RG:  I love my family!  They are everything to me. [This is Running Girl.  That one is true too!]

— Running Girl & The Major


5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by lisaN on March 19, 2011 at 8:42 am

    Two Thumbs up! Thanks for the laugh to start off my weekend right.


  2. Posted by Gail on March 19, 2011 at 9:44 pm

    You two crack me up! (You still talking to each other? 😉


  3. I saw a squirrel too. Isn’t running great.


  4. I saw two squirrels this morning on the way to the gym and they could care less how close I was. Everything moves like molasses in the South–even the critters.


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