Menswear Schmenswear

Every girl’s crazy about a sharp-dressed man.

Z.Z. Top

You gotta’ look sharp.

Joe Jackson

Who cares what you’re wearing from Main Street to Saville Row?  It’s what you wear from ear to ear, and not from head to toe, that matters.


Every time I attempt to wear a lapel pin, I am reminded how ridiculous men’s formal wear is.  The problem is seat belts.  When you exit the vehicle, the shoulder belt snags on the pin.  The pin goes flying, and (if you’re lucky) the lapel is not torn.

Okay.  So don’t wear lapel pins.  Or, better yet – wear them on the right side.  Well, the pins that I want to wear should be worn over the heart.

And it’s not just the pins.  Seat belts tend to eat buttons off your suit jacket.  Chairs tend to snatch buttons off your back pockets.  Ties get caught in paper shredders, and tend to carry germs.  Collars are too tight and choke your neck.  Cuffs get caught in your loafers.  Undershirts ride up with normal wear.

Dry cleaning bills are exorbitant.

I don’t want to wear suits anymore.  But, I also like my job.  Therefore, I guess I’ll be wearing suits to work for the rest of my professional career.

More and more lawyers are showing up for depositions and even occasional conferences in court wearing collared shirts and no ties.  Sometimes, these rule-breakers wear gasp turtlenecks.

As appealing as doing away with ties and collared shirts sounds to me, I cannot condone this practice.  It just doesn’t look….lawyerly.

Religious leaders wear clerical garb to set themselves apart from their parishioners.  There’s a reason for this.

Military members, police officers and fire fighters wear uniforms to announce to society that they play a special function.

It’s not really the same thing with lawyers.  We don’t have a uniform per se.  But, our job is to persuade.  Shouldn’t we look our best when attempting to bring others around to our point of view?

And a Tommy Bahama, $200 “hide-my-gut shirt” is not persuasive.  Neither is a red mock turtleneck.

So, I guess what I’m saying is that, until society evolves into another acceptable dress code for men, I’m stuck with business suits.

Today’s business suit was not always the norm.  In the past, gentlemen wore powdered wigs and breeches.  Glad that noise is done.

What will business attire look like in the future?  Certainly nothing like we have imagined in popular movies and television:


"Logan's Run"

"Fahrenheit 451"

"Blade Runner"

"Star Trek"

"Star Wars"

Oh well.  Time to get dressed for work.

— The Major


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by lisa on March 23, 2011 at 6:57 pm

    Try bras, pantyhose, high heels & skirts!!


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