A Typical Argument Between Running Girl & The Major

TM: What time do we have to be at that band thing for parents tonight?

RG: The flyer says 7 o’clock.

TM: Thank God.  Those cockamamie band leaders have finally gotten it through their thick skulls that some of us have jobs that go until 5 or later.

RG [Turning flyer over to the other side]: Wait a second.  The other side says we have to be there at 6:30.

TM: Okay.  That means 7:00.  We have time for dinner.

RG: No. That means 6:30.  We’re leaving in 7 minutes.

TM: No!  They screwed up.  We’re going with the later time.

RG: Subway Dude is now a section leader.  We have to set the proper example.  We’re going to be there promptly at 6:30.

TM: No.  This is just like those absent-minded band guys.  They screwed up.  They gave two separate times.  We’re going with the later one.

RG: That’s not the way it works!  We have to be there at 6:30.

TM: No.  I’m the lawyer.  They are in the weak position.  Some people will be showing up at 7:00.  They are in no position to chastise “late-comers” since they drafted the document and they put in conflicting and ambiguous terms.

RG: I don’t care.  I’m the music teacher.  Subway Dude and The Fashionista need to be there on time for this event no matter who screwed up.  We are leaving in four minutes.

TM [raising his voice]: Are you freaking kidding me?  These guys are incapable of arranging a two-car funeral, and we have to skip dinner because of their incompetence?

RG [lowering her voice]: Look.  All I’m saying is that we have obligations and SD needs to be there on time, no matter what.

TM: We do have obligations.  We have a four-year old who is sleep-deprived.  He needs to eat dinner and hit the hay at a reasonable time.

RG: We’re leaving in two minutes.  You can stay behind.

TM [boiling over]: YOU’RE INSANE!

RG: I don’t want to talk to you about this any longer.  You’re becoming abusive.

Both parties retreat to neutral corners.

Running Girl picks up phone and calls band director.

RG [to band director] So, it starts at 7:00?  That’s great.  Thanks.

TM: That’s good.  Dinner’s ready.

RG: Kids!  Wash up.  Let’s eat.

Both adults go forward with their evening as though no conflict took place earlier.

TM & RG [after assembly]: Gee.  That was a great assembly.  Who wants to go for ice cream?

— The Major & Running Girl


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