Things that I Do that Drive The Major Crazy

  • I routinely do not screw the lids tightly onto bottles.  The Major will sometimes reach for a jar, only to gape in amazement at the lid in his hand.  The contents are on and around his shoes.
  • Mentioning the words “ultra” and “marathon” together in the same sentence is a no-no.  As, I’ve recently discovered, is “trans-American bike trip”.
  • The kids and I suffer with AC cranked so high we are all wearing sweaters, socks and blankets in the middle of the summer.  TM has deemed it too hot and has put the AC on.  At some point, we are fed up and turn off the AC.  Sometimes I forget to open all of the windows.  This does not help improve TM’s mood after a long drive home through rush hour traffic.
  • TM arrives home to find the kids and I romping in the pool where we have spent the majority of the day.  TM says, “Did you even test the pool?”  Ummmm, was I supposed to do that?
  • I am the recycler in the family.  Yes, everyone participates, but I patrol the garbage in the kitchen.  I try and save The Buffalo News for TM if I know for a fact he hasn’t read it.  How long to I have to keep the papers around?  I have yet to discover the answer to that, but woe be unto me if I recycle something TM was looking for.
  • I always ask, “What kind of ice cream did you have?” or “Did you have dessert?”  These are important questions to me.  Not so, to TM.
  • TM loves to tell stories, in case you hadn’t noticed.  He loves to regale us with  long, sad, but funny childhood tales of setting a glass of water down on the counter, turning away for a millisecond, only to turn back and find the glass gone.  His father would have put the offending glass into the dishwasher in order to keep the counters spotless.  A few months ago, TM was all over The Fashionista’s case about leaving half finished cups of water lying around.  TF and I began to notice that a great number of the cups belonged to TM himself.  Recently I have begun to take great pains to keep our kitchen counters clean.  This involves cleaning up cups of water.  Guess who hates that?
  • I was not a big rock-and-roll chick growing up.  I was more into Show Tunes and Opera.  Whenever TM talks about a rock star who has died I will whisper, “Was it drugs?”  He gets very frustrated, saying, “Not all rock stars are drug addicts.”  Then he will usually sigh and admit, “But, yes, it was drugs.”
  • TM will hang the phone up with someone or other.  I will immediately ask 3-4 rapid fire questions about the conversation which TM is unable to answer.  He’ll usually say, “Why don’t you get on the phone with so-and-so?”  Well, duh, because I hate talking on the phone.
  • Apparently I have a “phone voice” which TM loves to make fun of.  I think I’ve mentioned that I hate talking on the phone.  Add to this a grown man standing next to me as I’m attempting to be an adult making a phone call, and he’s using a sing-song high, squeaky voice saying, “I’m only 6 1/2 years old.  Would you like to speak with my Daddy?”  Wait, maybe that’s something he does that drives me crazy.

-Running Girl


3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Debbie on August 1, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    My DH always asks if I checked the pool chemicals or emptied the filters. My answer is usually no. I just want to get in and swim!


  2. Posted by Cecily on August 3, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    Gotta side with TM on the glass thing – I can’t tell you how many times a week I’m wandering the kitchen looking for my unfinished coffee and/or water. Thankfully, my better half knows better than to EVER pitch my grown up drinks (aka margaritas).


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