Things That I Say That Cause Running Girl To Roll Her Eyes Back Into Her Head

The pool gate was absolutely fine when I left for work this morning.  Obviously, someone manhandled it.

Amy Winehouse’s death is hardly shocking.  The only real mystery was: when was it going to happen?

Where do you want to go for dinner?  [RG then responds with a perfectly good selection.]  How about another place?

Mozart was a trained monkey.  Ray Charles is a much bigger genius.

Recycling is such a pain in the ass.  I bet they just throw this stuff in with the rest of the regular garbage.

Teachers spend the entire summer obsessing about how little time off they have left until September.

Rachel Ray is a hag.

Have I told you how much I hate my cell phone?

Other than putting gas in your car, have you done anything else to make sure it’s running okay?

Bet you don’t know who sang this rock song?

Can’t you just buy my mother a birthday present for me?

You want to do another marathon?  How about a nice bike race instead?

Have you done any upper body exercises?  You know, cross-training is very important.

What’s the big deal over Adele?  Her songs are okay.  But, it’s as if they’ve made her into the greatest performer ever just because she’s plus-sized.

It’s so freaking hot in here.  I’ve got to turn on the air conditioner.  I can’t take it.

Here try this! [shoving a piece of food in the general vicinity of RG’s mouth].

You’re falling asleep now?  You have got to be kidding me!  It’s only 9:30 and YOU made me watch this piece of crap movie.

How about you drive this time? 

You didn’t bring your keys?  Why do I always have to be the responsible one?

This computer takes way too long to boot up.

I’ll pick that up.  I guess this is another job for the janitor.

I realize that it’s my laundry that you’re folding.  But, do you have to do it on my side of the bed?

[After going down only two or three aisles in the supermarket] That’s everything, right?  We can check out now?

How do you keep track of every piece of candy in this house?  Did you do an inventory?

[At the cinema] Do I really have to pay to sit through all these commercials for other movies?

I occasionally call RG ma biche (a French endearment meaning “my doe”) that sounds perilously close to a less complimentary term in American slang English.

You’re not really listening to me any more, are you?

— The Major


One response to this post.

  1. Running Girl, Offer to do a trans-American bike trip instead! 😉


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