Archive for October, 2011

Shotgun!

The teenagers play the shotgun game every chance they get.

You remember this game — first player to call it, gets to ride in the front passenger seat.  Except, it doesn’t count if you call it before the last player has left the house/store/building/stadium/etc.

Those are the basics.  The players may then stipulate to further rules and restrictions governing who gets the front passenger seat for the ride.

Often, The Fashionista and Subway Dude forget that I, as driver, am the final arbiter, and there are no appeals from my rulings.  I can also use my awesome power to override the players in an arbitrary and capricious manner.  For example, I can decree that my girlfriend, Running Girl, gets to ride next to me. Continue reading

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Conversations with Island Boy

During a bike ride around the block, Island Boy had some trouble keeping his balance:

Island Boy:  Daddy, I can’t do this.

The Major:  Sure you can.

IB:  I wanna’ turn around!

TM:  Island Boy, let me tell you a story.  One time when we were in Haiti together, you saw a boy on a bike.  You got all excited about it.  You yelled: Gade papa!  Bekan!  Do you remember what that means?

IB:  No.  What does it mean?

TM:  It means, Look, papa!  A bike!  You wanted to be that boy.

[IB looks at TM in a puzzled manner]

TM:  Island Boy, now you’re that boy.

Island Boy smiled and got back on his bike. 

He rode all the way around the block.

— The Major

“Good” Goody Bag

When you sign up for a race you usually get a Goody Bag.  Some Goody Bags are not so good. Happily, this year’s Niagara Falls Marathon Goody Bag made me happy.

Here’s what you’ll find in a Goody Bag: Continue reading

The Eagle and The Beaver

In the late 1990s, I asked an American who had lived in Canada what it was like to reside on that side of the border.

“Well,” she stated, pausing to think about it.  “Americans have almost no views on Canadians.  However, Canadians have very definite opinions about Americans.”

My years of living at the border and traveling within Canada have affirmed this wisdom.

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POP QUIZ FOR AMERICANS

  1. Name Canada’s current leader (hint: he is the Prime Minister).
  2. Name Canada’s two main political parties.
  3. Name at least one Canadian Football League (CFL) team.

(Answers are found at the bottom)

Yanks, you don’t know any of these, do you?  But, virtually all Canadians can answer these questions about the United States of America

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My favorite Canadian sign. Each time I see one of these, I feel like I've won a race.

Continue reading

Quiz: My Compass Is Broken

Help me out with this one.  The answers are at the bottom of the post.

  1. Which is further north, Rome, Italy or New York, NY?
  2. Which is further south, the tip of Baja California or the tip of south Florida?
  3. Which is further west, Reno, Nevada or Los Angeles?
  4. Which is further east, Clovis, New Mexico or Sturgis, South Dakota?
  5. Which is further north, Portland, Maine or Portland, Oregon?
  6. Which is further south, south Florida or south Texas?
  7. Which is further west, Atlanta or Pittsburgh?
  8. Which is further east, Jacksonville, Florida or all of South America?
  9. Which state’s capital is further north, Illinois’ or Utah’s? Continue reading

Meet the Cats

I have been repeatedly accused of hating cats.

Once again, I do not hate cats.  I just hate these cats.

Placing my feelings aside, I have decided to introduce you to the cats of Kay Nou.

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Name: Sarah

Age: I’m thinking about 11 (how long do these animals live anyway?).

Sex: Female (doesn’t really matter as there ain’t nothing going on).

Body type: Getting skinnier (a combo of purging and being a victim of food theft by the other cat). Continue reading

Be the Match

I received an email this week about a Health Fair taking place at one of my my school district’s high schools.  Not only were they running a blood drive, but they were also signing people up for the national bone marrow registry.

Back when I was in college in New York City I was a regular blood donor.  I would count off every 56 days and find a local Red Cross wherever I was.

Bone Marrow?  I’ve heard that hurts, but at this point in my life I figure, what’s a little pain? Continue reading